My first kiss happened when I was 16 in a closet at a party. The party was in another town, and I barely knew the guy, but he was really cute and his name was Taylor. We were dancing and Taylor romantically whisked me away into this random closet. We continued to dance in the closet and he kept stroking my face, so I started stroking his face, too. It seemed like the right move. I was so nervous because I was holding in a fart the whole time we had been dancing, and now holding it in was really hard work. Finally after lots of face stroking, he grabbed me by the shoulders and said, “I’m going to kiss you now.” I nodded and closed my eyes and let go of all my inhibitions, including my fart. I thought if I was gentle about it, it would be the long and silent kind. Spoiler alert: it was not silent. Taylor was like, “did you just fart?” and I was like, “yup.”
Taylor and I kissed a few more times after that, and I can tell you I did learn a few things about kissing from him and from other first kisses in my lifetime. First of all, stop rushing. I know you’re nervous, but take your time. Start with a peck, make it soft, and keep it slow. Your tongue doesn’t need to be all up in there right away. Everything is going to be okay if you do not immediately stick your tongue in the other person’s mouth. Second of all, less is more when it comes to tongue. Sure, a fart can be bad news bears when you’re mid-kiss, but nothing ruins a kiss faster than someone shoving a tongue down your throat. “Tonsil hockey” should not be taken literally.
The best way to know when you’re not doing too much is if you’re both using equal amounts of pressure — your teeth should never hit each other, and if one person is stabbing the other person with their tongue, you’re doing it wrong. Instead of going into it thinking you have to kiss this other person, think of it as two people making their tongues dance and snuggle. It’s weird, but it’s pretty accurate. Once you feel comfortable with these basics, throw in some sass — a (gentle!) bite on the lower lip can be exciting. So can brushing your lips against theirs.
The next step is realizing that kissing isn’t just tongue and lips, it’s an experience for the whole body! Get your hands in their hair, on their back, arms, or gently hold their face. Sometimes it can be fun to take a break from kissing to look the person in the eyes with a quick smile. Some people don’t like being looked at when you kiss them — this is usually just insecurity. Throw in a genuine compliment to make them feel comfortable. “I really like kissing you,” or “You’re a good kisser,” is usually all it takes. Nerves and butterflies in your stomach are part of the thrill, so ride the wave and remember that whether it’s your first kiss ever or your first kiss with someone new, it doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, it usually isn’t, just take if from these 19 other girls in their 20s.
I kissed him in the woods and then he told everyone that I was a bad kisser. Everyone was talking about it at school, so I decided I had to kiss all of his friends to prove I wasn’t a bad kisser.
-Hannah
None of us had ever kissed anyone before so we played spin the bottle. If it landed on you you’d have to go to the bathroom and make out. It landed on me, so on my way to the bathroom I shoved cake in my mouth because I was so nervous and I thought if I had cake in my mouth I wouldn’t have to do anything. He ended up not being grossed out, so my first kiss I had cake stuck in all my braces. I really didn’t enjoy it.
-Nina
I was at summer camp at the end of session dance, it was on a tennis court, and it was the kid I had a crush on all of summer camp. We were kind of like, dancing, and then “Mr. Brightside” came on and we made out. Then we got in trouble for making out, and they made us sit on opposite sides of the gym, but we ended up going back to the dance. We made out more later in hiding.
-Katie
My first kiss was my freshman year of college with a girl who was way more experienced. I had never kissed or hooked up with anyone before, and she was from London and so cool and had already had three girlfriends in her lifetime. I didn’t tell her it was my first kiss, because I didn’t want it to be a big deal. One day we skipped class and had a picnic in Prospect Park and we talked so long we ended up watching the sunset. It was like a movie.
-Annie
I was at a Dave Matthews Band concert and it was awful. He used way too much tongue and he got his slobber all over my chin and all my concealer came off. Thanks, but no thanks.
-Rachel
My first kiss was actually on prom night and I was so nervous because I felt like everyone else was so far ahead on what they had done with their partners, or whatever. But it was so adorable and perfect and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
-Caitlin
Remember the store Tower Records? I had my first kiss in front of a bunch of Insane Clown Posse CDs after I told my boyfriend I thought clown makeup was badass. It was a lie but it was his favorite band.
-Casey
In my 8th grade boyfriend’s bedroom, on his shag carpet — and there were braces involved and it was painful! I think my lips were kind of torn up at the end!
-Lizzy
My first kiss happened in a bush next to my house. I was 17 and my boyfriend met me to walk the dog. We were planning on kissing, but we were too chicken to do it around my neighborhood in case someone I knew saw. So we ended up going back to my house in my driveway where my parents couldn’t see, and we had our first kiss in a bush. I can’t remember if the kiss was good or bad, but first kisses don’t matter anyways.
-Alexandra
I actually don't have a distinct memory of it. I know I was about 13 years old but it did not make a lasting impression on me. I think that's kind of nice for young girls to know though. It doesn't have to be THAT big a deal, and in a few years you'll probably forget about it, whether it was good or bad. Before you've had your first kiss you think it's a huge deal but it's totally not and it totally did not have an impact on my life.
-Maggie
My first kiss came way later in life than most of my friends' first kisses: my junior year of high school. Before that year, I lacked the self-confidence to put myself in a position to be kissed; I was shy and awkward and new to my town, and I hadn't really figured out who I was. At 17, I felt like I had it all together. So, when Terrence pulled whatever tacky pick-up line he used, I fell for it and we made out against the wall of a house we were skipping school and hanging out in, and it was great in all its terrible awkwardness. Just because you might not have that first kiss until later than most, that doesn't mean you're some loser who will never be sexual or attractive or wanted. That kiss sparked many great first kisses and great first other things, and I have had no problem exploring that area of my life just because I was 17 and not 13 when someone first made a move.
-Julia
My first kiss was terrifying. I had avoided kissing my 6th grade boyfriend for as long as humanly possible because I had NO idea what to do. Finally, at my birthday pool party, a bunch of older girls pushed us together and held up a towel so my parents couldn't see. I closed my eyes and went for it, I honestly don't even know what I did beyond open my mouth because I was so nervous. Turns out it's way easier than you think!
-Lisa
I think my first kiss/peck on the cheek was in middle school and most definitely on a playground. Funny story, this first kiss boy and I started “dating” because that’s what we thought really good “boy and girl” friends were supposed to do if you didn’t want cooties. We ended up forgetting we were dating and never actually “broke up.” My first makeout sesh was during What a Girl Wants in theaters on a double date. I remember it was sloppy, tasted weird, and it felt like he was spitting in my mouth. The movie was great!
-Fiona
I was 12 in an under-16s club, it was a foam party. I was wearing a pink Abercrombie skirt and pink flip-flops. His name was Juan.
-Mary
I had my first kiss when on my 22nd birthday. Yup, I was senior in college. I never kissed anyone in high school because I went to an all-girls school, and when I got to college I was too insecure to let anyone kiss me. I turned down a lot of dates because I was nervous they would find out. I didn’t want to be this virginal freak. I thought I lacked the skills to pass as a person who had hooked up with someone before. Anyway, on my 22nd birthday, I went to a bar in Harvard Square with all my friends. At one point, I saw the cute guy from my physics class that I had a crush on all semester. I went up to him and told him I thought he was cute. He blushed and said thank you, it was so hot. Then, I just kissed him. I just went for it. It was the proudest day of my life.
-Ashley
I was 13 at a sleepover, and my best friend had a boyfriend already, and they were making out all the time at this point. My friends and I asker her to teach us how to kiss, so we practiced kissing on each other for 2 hours and she walked around giving us tips. Really glad her mom never walked in.
-Jenna
I was obsessed with the movie The Notebook, which came out when I was in 8th grade. I made my boyfriend at the time wait 7 months to kiss me because I wanted to kiss him on a Ferris wheel. So, we waited until summer, when everyone went to Kennebunkport. There’s a fair in the summer that all the kids hung out at, so finally I let my boyfriend kiss me on the Ferris wheel there. If I’m a bird, he’s a bird.
-Courtney
My first kiss was a complete stranger at a bonfire party on the beach. He had Abercrombie Fierce cologne on and it was everything. I never saw him again. The kiss was just okay — way too much tongue.
-Lindsey
My first kiss was in the backseat of a car when I was 18. This guy picked me up in the middle of the night from a sleepover, and he drove us to a lake on the other side of town. It was a total makeout spot like in the movies. I was so dumb and nervous I didn’t even think about him wanting to hook up with me, so I wore Spanx under my sweats to “feel” skinnier. We started making out and he eventually found the Spanx. Humiliating experience, but I’m glad the Spanx were there to interrupt a hookup that could have gone too far.
